## They’re all wrong. ALL Wrong!

For reasons I don’t feel the need to go into (they aren’t pertinent), I googled for instructions on how to measure my bra size.  All I needed was the chart to determine cup size, because I can never remember it.

Every single resource google provided in two pages of search results has incorrect instructions to measure your bra size.  Every.  Single.  One.

Here are the directions they give:

2. Add 4 if the number is even, 5 if it is odd.
3. Measure at the fullest part of your bust.
4. Subtract the number from step 2 from the number from step 3.  This number will correspond to a cup size on a chart.

Abso-f-ing-lutely wrong.  Wrong wrong wrong.  Let me illustrate.

My ribcage measures 37 inches.  (Thank God that it has gone down from the monumental and painful 40 inches of my third trimester!)  So I add 5 to this number, and we get 42.

My normal bust measurement, i.e. when GeekBaby has supped well, is 40 inches.  Do you see where we’re going?

40-42 = NEGATIVE 2.  There is no -2 on the cup charts.

The bra size these calculators assign me is a 42AA.  Excuse me.  Do these look like a 42AA to you?

The mind numbing stupidity of this method of measuring one’s bra size makes my head hurt.  (And just thinking about a 42AA  bra makes my boobs hurt.)  To describe just how wrong this measuring method is requires swear words, and I’m trying to quit.

If you hear something, that’s me, over here in Texas, screaming.