I tried to think a lot about what to do during Lent this year. But my life is so… jumbly right now that deciding just which one thing to give up overwhelmed me and I kept shoving it to the back of my mind and not thinking about it. So yesterday there I was, Fat Tuesday, and I had no idea what I was giving up.
I didn’t really know where to go from there. Everything in life has been messy and overwhelming for a 18 months now. The house is a chaos I can’t bring myself to order. Blogs I read but can’t write. I can barely even comment. I lost my habit of the LotH while I was pregnant and have had trouble settling back into the habit postpartum – like trying to zip up that pair of jeans that just doesn’t fit right anymore. "What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate." Also I play a lot of Threes.
The three pillars of Lent were in the front of my mind this last week though, because I taught the kindergarteners about them in our last CCE class. Prayer. Fasting. Almsgiving. And so I decided that instead of any one specific sacrifice, I would, for the most part, take it day by day, focusing on those principles.
But then again, it’s not Lent if I’m don’t have something to do every day. So I’m going to blog. Every day. Ash Wednesday to Holy Thursday. Via email, so I don’t get all wound up and frustrated over formatting errors.
Other people do blog fasts. But fasting doesn’t feel like it will do anything for this… acedia I’m experiencing. If we’re going to do an analogy, diet is only one half of maintaining a healthy weight. The other is exercise. I don’t need to focus on my blog diet, so much as my blog exercise.
I guess that makes this blog almsgiving. I don’t have much money. But I have lots of words. So I will give them to you.