A couple weeks ago the GeekHusband asked what I would like for Valentine’s Day. Now we don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day with elaborate gifts, we have our own custom, so I assumed he was joking and told him I wanted jewelry.
And this created a certain amount of… not injured feelings I guess, but I think he felt rather put upon. He doesn’t give me jewelry because he thinks I don’t want jewelry and won’t wear it. Which is true in one sense and not in another. I don’t wear jewelry because he doesn’t give me any, and he doesn’t give me any because I don’t wear it a lot. It’s the devil of all romantic catch-22s.
I don’t wear a lot of jewelry, I usually wear the same thing every day. But now that I think about it, he’s given me every piece of what I wear daily, with the exception of my Aggie ring.
I am mournful, not because he doesn’t buy me jewelry, but because he doesn’t seem to want to buy me jewelry. It rather inhibits romance, there’s no sense of being “draped with jewels that I might adorn them with my beauty.” What results is that I don’t know whether he thinks I’m beautiful, and I don’t really believe him when he calls me beautiful, because if he thought I was beautiful, why wouldn’t he treat me like I was?
It doesn’t boil down to “why doesn’t he spend more money on me” so much as “why doesn’t he help me feel more feminine?” Because I’m not good at feminine. I don’t instinctively go and dress up prettily in nice clothes and jewelry. I wear jeans and sneakers and labcoats all day. And a little help now and then would go a long, long way.
So, dear, that’s what I think I meant when I said I wanted jewelry.