Babies Don’t Keep

…but our society intently wants them to go off early.

I didn’t get the first round of treatment today, because the opthamologist decided I needed to wean GeekBaby first. I argued that I was not dumb enough to nurse after he gave me a drug that would hurt my baby, and that he could start treatment now, but he refused. Probably sensible in most cases, and he hasn’t had the opportunity to know me very well, but still. I’d like to start treating this, and it certainly doesn’t make weaning easier to know I could give in to the screaming and the crying and the gnashing of teeth.

I’m not kidding about the gnashing of teeth. He gnashes.

No one outside of Mike seems to understand why this is a big deal. It seems that once your kid is one, he’s no longer a baby anymore. The opthamologist came right out and said that’s why you had people nursing five year olds.

Well, that’s a stupid thing to say. It’s also ignorant, but I am used to doctors’ ignorance.

My baby, at not 16 months, is too old to nurse? Why? He can’t use the potty by himself (although use it he does). He can’t communicate in words. He can’t handle Daddy leaving in the morning without crying.

Is it terribly surprising that he also doesn’t understand why Mommy can’t nurse him anymore?

He has always been an avid nurser. Am I supposed to feel good about depriving him of his biggest source of comfort? I feel like the most terrible mother in recorded history.


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4 Responses to Babies Don’t Keep

  1. twortd says:

    Oh,my.
    You don’t need me to tell you your doctor is an idiot. It’s always amazing to me, people get an MD after their names and they think that makes them an expert on all sorts of things they’ve never taken a class on, all sorts of things that are not even best learned in the classroom. You got your MD in how eyes work, you are only qualified to give me information on how my eyes work. You are not somehow now qualified to tell me what to do with my eyes, much less what to do with my breasts.
    Sorry. Ugh.
    I did manage to wean in one session, and make my kid think it was her idea, but you’ll have to email me if you want the “trick” because it is horrific and way TMI.
    Best of luck getting it all sorted. Isn’t it funny how very, very, very often we wind up feeling like the worst mom in the world? Don’t let the silliness get you down.

    • GeekLady says:

      I debated quite a bit whether to approve this comment. It is unfair to my doctor simply because he is a doctor, when he is just repeating the common belief of our culture. 1) That once a baby is a year, he’s not a baby anymore and couldn’t need to nurse for any reason whatsoever. And 2) that self weaning commonly results in nursing 5 year old children. But he didn’t tell me to wean because he thought still nursing was wrong, he told me to wean because the drug could be dangerous, and it’s best to be safe. This is a completely sound and proper medical advisement, so yes, he does have a certain amount of input in what is safest to do with my breasts in this instance.
      I finally decided to approve it on principle, but with the editorial comment that I think it’s unfair.

      (Reply originally posted within twortd’s comment of 2009/11/22 @ 8:39am)

  2. twortd says:

    Sorry, I read your post as you stating your doctor was being “stupid” and “ignorant” by stating as a medical opinion that folks breastfed kids until they were five because they did not realize they stopped being babies when they were one.

    My comment was based not on his direction to wean because of the medication you were taking but my reading that you were saying he was stating as his medical opinion that had you not weaned because of the medication you would be wrong not to wean because of the age of your child.

    Of course he has the right to withhold a medicine that could hurt a nursing infant if you informed him you weren’t weaning. Of course he has the right to express a personal opinion on breastfeeding (based on common beliefs from the culture or on anything else he wishes) as long as he does not imply or state that his training as an opthamologist makes his opinion superior to mine or yours.

    If I misread your post, I apologize. I had absolutely no intention of putting you in a difficult position regarding your principles. Please delete both comments at your convenience.

  3. twortd says:

    One more note (and I’d ask you to please delete this comment when you are able, also) — I will search back and find where I linked. My blog, small as it is, has a different flavor than some and I have a standing policy that anyone who does not want me linking to or quoting them need only ask for the link or quote to be removed and it will be immediately and with understanding. I’m sorry I check blogs I read weekly or so and had not realized you thought my comment unfair or I certainly would have taken care of all this earlier. I apologize if this has troubled you at all.

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